I'm going to let you in on a little secret. I am a pessimist.
Apparently, I've done a pretty good job of hiding that with most people though. Lately, I've found myself talking to friends and admitting my pessimism and they were shocked. Really. They didn't think I was pessimistic at all.
In thinking and researching all of this anxiety stuff, I have realized that my pessimism is a part of my troubles. I worry about everything. I think nothing is going to go my way. I don't know why I do that. All of this spills over into my relationship with God, too. I'm coming to see that I think God is good to everyone else -- and I think he CAN do anything he wants to and that he CAN be good to me too -- but that he just doesn't want to.
I KNOW that is not biblical -- in my head but....dern! I can't get my heart to understand it. I can sit and tell every person I see every day of my life that God is good and he can be trusted to take care of them. BUT I cannot believe it for myself.
WHY IS THAT?
Well. I've been thinking a LOT about this and I really don't know how to change my pessimism towards what God is going to do for me, but I think I've come up with....NO, God has shown me that first step.
That first step is this: choosing Gratitude.
I don't do a very good job of counting my blessings. Instead I tend to focus on the bad things. The things that aren't going well in my life.
The people who aren't being good to me. The things I don't have....and so on -- all with the negative slant!
SO, God has shown me that one thing I really need to do to start moving out of my anxiety, is to be grateful. To really be thankful for the things He has given me. This is where I am. Deciding today to CHOOSE GRATITUDE as my attitude -- and not my regular pessimistic negative self. 
How's that for honest, real blogging? I'm not even sure it made any sense....
I will also be asking a friend of mine to hold me accountable to this. I have to retrain my mind to think positively, and thankfully.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-23
Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.
Do not put out the Spirit's fire; do not treat prophecies with contempt. Test everything. Hold on to the good. Avoid every kind of evil.
May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it.
Brothers, pray for us. Greet all the brothers with a holy kiss. I charge you before the Lord to have this letter read to all the brothers. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you.
Ya'll have a great Wednesday. I've got planning to do for my preschoolers at church tonight and of course, housecleaning to do. AND an attitude of gratitude to cultivate!!!
in HIM -
my goal for last year was contentment. That was my word too. Be content. Find the good in everything. Maybe contentment should be your word. Look for a reason to be content in every situation in your life. We are still not there completely but it sure has made a difference when bad things do spring up to try and be content amongst the storms.
ReplyDeleteThat is awesome to have a friend that will hold you accountable.
Good for you! I am an eternal optimist - always have the attitude that its going to work out & God's got it. That's good in some ways but in others, it leads to disappointment or complacency - not taking the step, just waiting. There has to be a happy medium so I'm hoping that's what you will find!
ReplyDeletei've had one of those days when i have looked at myself and decided i have to change. My aniexty and lack of confidence is one of my big problems, but i am working on asking God for help and support. Sometimes it feels like everyone has got it right except me.
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