Here's hoping.....
So, I gotta talk to ya'll about something. For all of you ladies out there that share this role of Mom it will come as no surprise that it is without a doubt the hardest thing I've ever done....and it is also the most WONDERFUL thing I've ever done.....and it is also the scariest thing I've ever done. Being responsible for another human being is incredibly overwhelming at times. Especially considering my huge limitations at it. My humanness steps all over my wanna be perfection all the time. God has been talking with me about the importance of family in the past year or so....I've shared this before. I long to be the Proverbs 31 woman in every way.....knowing I will never get there this side of heaven, I just want to be able to look at my life and see growth. I want to pay attention to every moment of their lives and savor those moments. I want to really KNOW each of my children and their likenesses and their differences and love them accordingly.
One of my biggest struggles right now is the bickering that goes on between my girls. They fight a LOT lately.....seems like constantly. We wake up to arguments and sometimes even go to bed with arguments. I do believe that some arguing is part of childhood but I feel like at my house it has gotten out of hand.
I'm leading a study at church right now on a book called Don't Make Me Count To Three. It is a great book and I recommend it to every mom out there. It is all about getting behind the behavior to what's happening in the heart. To the sin nature of our children.....to making them aware of that and bringing them to a place where they can really evaluate their own behaviors by looking at their heart issues.....Parenting by The Book. It is great and I am learning a LOT!
And there is part of me that is wondering......is God giving me opportunity to practice what I'm
Maybe it's both.....what do ya'll think?
I think it's both. My boys do the same thing. After school seems to be the worst. We only live a few blocks away, but in that time they manage to yell and make one another cry and then I'm yelling above them to STOP YELLING! It's a zoo. :)
ReplyDeleteYou're not alone. Tell me if you figure out how to make it stop!
Hey Mindy,
ReplyDeleteI haven't gotten to that stage of our life right now...just having one little one but I think it's something siblings all go through. Me and my sister did when we were younger. I remember my parents always trying to explain how important we were for each other. It didn't matter much then but it certainlty does now. We are super close.
Mindy,
ReplyDeleteI don't know if my thoughts even address your main question, but...
I don't have children (I know! I know! But please keep reading!!!), but I do live with 4 teenage girls, some who are expecting their own babies soon, and like you, I feel the huge responsibility that comes with the joy of "parenting" these girls. I especially feel your pain when you say your being human steps all over your need to be perfect. I have come to the conclusion that in these situations, the only thing I can possibly do is spiritually (and sometimes lieterally)fall on my face before Jesus, ask Him for wisdom, and trust Him to give it to me. I then just do the best I can and move on!
Certainly, I don't have invested the same interest as you...these girls aren't my own flesh and blood! But I do feel you sister!
You just do the best you can and rely on Grace to follow behind and clean up the messes! Sounds like you are doing the hard work of self-evaluation by asking the difficulty questions...keep up the good work! Don't beat yourself up!
Just my 2 cents...
Enjoy your blog!
Just noticed all my spelling typoz! Sorry 'bout that!!!...remember that perfection thing?????????
ReplyDeleteI only have one so we don't have all the arguments but we still deal with the heart-behavior issue. I'm going to have to check out that book. :)
ReplyDeleteAnd I think it's probably a little of both. Anytime the desire and work is there to draw closer to God in one area of your life, the devil kicks the attacks into high gear!
Usually what I'm writing about, teaching about, etc., is the very issue I'm forced to deal with the immediate.
ReplyDeleteArguing...well it's ideal to have your children come to some realizations in the matter and be able to conclude that this isn't God's path for them. That being said, some practical "reality" discipline worked for me.
I remember one day my sons just going at it...maybe 2nd and 4th grade. I told them to take the argument outdoors and that they couldn't come back in until it was over.
They sulked out to the backyard, complaining the entire time. Once out there, they said very little. I also think it was slightly cold and miserable outdoors. Anyway, my youngest caved and quickly made it back indoors. My oldest and my strong willed one, did I mention that he was STRONG WILLED?, well he held out a bit longer. He was mad; not only as his brother but at his mother for not lending her ears to his complaints.
He stayed out for at least an hour, shivering, but when he finally came in, he was ship shape and good to go...
at least until the next time.
Arguments are our ways of gaining control. If you enter in, then you've added your voice to the mix, and as long as the weather permits, the backyard seems a good fit to me.
For what it's worth...
peace~elaine