I know you've been there. That point in pregnancy where you are just ready.
Ready for the pregnancy to be over.
Ready for the baby to come.
Ready for the aches and pains to be gone.
Ready to feel better.
Ready to sleep better. ( without a mountain of extra pillow's that only make me comfortable for about 10 minutes)
Ready to breathe better.
But still knowing all along that the longer the baby is safe inside my tummy, the better it is for him.
At almost 33 weeks pregnant that is where I am.
Just ready. I really don't want to wish my life, or my family's life away. I am acutely aware lately of the fact that life flies by and I need to enjoy every moment of every day of every stage of each of my children's lives.
However, there is a part of me today - that wishes the next 7 weeks would be gone and labor and delivery would be over and we would just be holding a happy, healthy baby boy.
I know that with each of my pregnancies, I was ready for the baby to come at the end. But I think this time - the 4th time- I am just about over being pregnant. I've been happily pondering that with the birth of our 4th child, our family will be complete.
Here is where the melt down went from possible (with all that above and add in hormones) to probable.
I got up this morning to do my bible study. Right now I am reading Lies Women Believe by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. I have really enjoyed the challenge this book has given me to really know the Truth as presented in the bible but today's chapter is just going to send me off the deep end.
Today's chapter was "Lies Women Believe About Children". And what was the very first lie of this chapter?
" It's up to us to determine the size of our family."
UGGHHH, I thought I had already dealt with this issue. Remember, I discussed it here a while back. AND, I thought God had given me peace on this issue that this would be our final child.
After reading this chapter today, I'm struggling. Nancy talks about how Satan is a destroyer of life and wants to discourage child-bearing. I can agree with that. AND she also puts Christian "Family Planning" in the same league as abortion.
Anyone got any words for me today? I could use them! The melt down ensues!
I've read this book and did the study on it as well.
ReplyDeleteI disagree with Nancy on some of that chapter...I personally do not feel family planning is in the same league as abortion...at all.
God gives us wisdom to make wise choices after we have sought Him first. Life is a gift...it doesn't mean that God's plan for every family is to re-produce as many children as possible...sometimes it may be, but sometimes not.
I sometimes wondered if Nancy's view would be different if she had children? :) I know my views have changed since having children ;) Thankfully, God's do not!
Sorry for the book...just my 2 cents. Hope the last weeks go by quickly and smoothly!
I'm kind of in the same boat. I think that God has a plan for your life (my life, everyone's lives) and your journey will travel that path in spite of what you choose. We were certainly done with 3; struggled with secondary infertility to get 3; years of medicines, charting, miscarriages, etc and yet #4 came while we were using birth control. HIS plan carries you on your journey.
ReplyDeleteI strongly disagree with Nancy on this, as well. I think this book is full of her opionion. It's great she shares it, but we need to make sure we see it for what it is. I believe God will speak to each couple as it relates to their family. If you feel your "quiver is full" at four, then by all means don't try to have more. It doesn't mean God isn't big enough to intervene and give you another child if he wants to, nor is it the same as saying you would have an abortion if you were pregnant with baby #5. That's simply ridiculous. Be free! Enjoy this pregnancy and if it's the last, then enjoy the four children you have without ever having second thoughts or thinking you are out of God's will because you didn't just keep going and going in growing your family. I am sorry that chapter brought you such turmoil. Remember, if it doesn't come straight from scripture, it's only one's opinion, and that's certainly nothing to fret over. Hope you feel better and God overwhelms you with peace and joy today!
ReplyDeleteExactly what Sarah and Tammy said!
ReplyDeleteI agree with the rest! After each of my pregnancies people started asking immediately if we were going to have more. I always tell them, "Having babies didn't work when we did it our way, He had to do it His way!"
ReplyDeleteBless you girl! You hang in there! You already know it'll be worth it, you don't need me to tell you that!
Love ya!
Deedra
Harsh statements by Nancy. In fairness to her, I haven't read the chapter yet, but I will.
ReplyDeleteSorry for your angst in the matter. It's a good wrestling, but one that I wouldn't linger with too long. Ask God for immediate clarity in the matter and then put it to rest. He is faithful to bring you to his conclusion.
peace~elaine
I agree with Sarah and the others. Family planning is not the same as abortion. (Unless one is "planning" after conception.) Having children is a very personal decision. One that should be made between you and your spouse and no one else.
ReplyDeleteIt's always best to hear from God ourselves. Man can confirm what God has spoken but should never be the solitary voice.
I love what I Corinthians 14:33 in the KJV says: "For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace..." That part of the verse has helped me make decisions throughout my life. In any decision you have to make, look for the peace and you can be assured God is there, too.
Your bloggy sisters are praying for you!
Your real sister is praying for you too! :) I think it speaks volumes that you were at peace with the decision you (and your hubby) made prior to reading that chapter. Now, I think you are letting someone else's opinion sway yours. In the Priscilla Shirer study I did a while back, she states very clearly about something that I think applies her. She says that just because God impresses something on one person's heart doesn't mean the same is true for someone else. Make sense? If not, let me know & I'll let you borrow the book. :)
ReplyDelete