Mindfully Grateful for this"Di a"versary Day.

Today is Allie's Diaversary.  

It's been three years now since she was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes.

It is unlikely that she is even aware of  what today is.  Matter of fact, I've recently discovered that she doesn't even remember much of the days leading up to her diagnosis.  

But for me, it is a day I will never forget. 

I reread the post I made to keep all of our concerned friends updated on how we ended up in the hospital on that Monday, 3 years ago.  You can tell when you read it that all of the new words being thrown at us, the Diabetic language, were new as I messed up several terms.  Ketoacidosis, while a correct term can be caused by different things, so technically Allie was in Diabetic Ketoacidosis which is a life threatening condition.  Also, I referred to Allie's HCN-1 level as being 11.8 -- that should say A1C.  It is the language of our daily lives now, but then we had no clue.  And while writing that post, I was still a little in denial and a whole lot in shock.

It's the question we get asked most often in regards to Allie's Type 1 Diabetes.  

"How did you know?"

The plain truth is that we didn't know.  And I do carry some Mom guilt with that sometimes, but honestly - the symptoms of T1D come on out of nowhere it seems and so fast that I do believe it is easy to miss.  

This anniversary -- May 19 -- isn't a day I celebrate.  I would give anything for there to be a cure for this disease so my daughter can be free of counting carbs, bolusing, shots, Humalog, having to stop to think before eating anything at all, carrying a box of supplies wherever we go, medical forms to be able to drive in Driver's Ed that cause so many issues to do 'normal' kid stuff, doctor's appointments and the million of other ways it impacts her that she doesn't let on to anyone.  

But on this day, I will take the time to be mindfully grateful.

*I will be thankful today that God has indeed taken care of Allie.  

*I will be thankful for her strength and courage.  How  she just did whatever they asked her to do at the hospital, giving herself her first shot the second day after diagnosis.

*I will be thankful for the Humalog that smells up my house and the test strips that litter my floor, because these are the things that keep my daughter alive.

*I will remind myself to be thankful for her determined and stubborn spirit.  It is this spirit that can make life hard and relationships strained, but it is also this spirit that made her willing to do what she needs to do - like give herself shots --and work to be healthy.  

*I'm thankful for all the research being done to search for a cure for this disease that one day, maybe she can be free of the counting and insulin shots.  

*Most of all, today -- I'm thankful for Allie.  

And each day that I get to have with her, even the hard ones.

Allie, I know that you don't even like to talk about your T1D most of the time.  And, at the same time, I'm painfully aware that we spend A LOT of our time talking about it......how many carbs in this, count 35 carbs for supper tonight, what was your bloodsugar? What did you do about it?

Are we good on supplies? Do you have your stuff? ......and all of the other questions that fill our days.

I want you to know that even when I am fussing at you to work on keeping your numbers where they should be, that I am oh, so proud of who you are.  

You're the toughest girl I know and you are truly a gift in our family.
Most of all today, Allie, I am thankful for YOU.  All of who you are and  I can't wait to see where you are going in this life.  

I love you!

Mom