A while back, I noticed that lots of people were asking for others to "show themselves". They were calling out all their phantom followers and the people so kindly obliged..... I had been feeling really sorry for myself that I get so few comments on my posts. Why couldn't I be like all the others who get loads of comments on each and every post. I was feeling that I was baring my soul and only getting 1 or 2 comments and others could talk about something like the weather and get dozens. So, I decided to call out my own phantom followers.....so I did. And I got a whole 11 comments. Then I really felt sorry for myself. I began having myself a big pity party.
How come I only get 3 comments on my posts and she gets 78?
How come I only have 12 followers and she has 50, 60, 189?
How come I follow her blog but she doesn't return the favor? She thinks she's hot stuff (to use a word from my junior high self I was acting like).
Well - for the past few weeks my party has continued and every day I would feel sorrier and sorrier for myself. But, to be honest I didn't realize that I was wasting so much energy on this issue.
As I drove home this morning, listening to the local AM radio station trying to hear my hubs spot about the 'real meaning of the season' they asked him to do -- instead of the FM Christian station I usually listen to, drinking my coffee, the Lord spoke to me loud and clear.
He let me know that my wanting comments and my wanting followers -- well, that was just wanting to be someones idol wasn't it? And that I was wanting my blog to bring me glory and not him.....
Nothing like getting knocked off my high horse first thing in the morning!!!
I prayed right then and there. I prayed that God would forgive my jealousy, my pride, my desire to be worshipped. I asked the Lord to use my blog for HIS glory and not mine. I asked him to change my attitude. I asked him to help me to no longer desire to be followed....
As I sit here now, I realize that I didn't thank him though. So, now I say
Thank you Lord for humbling me this day. As much as it feels really bad -- I needed the lesson. So, thank you. And again, I ask your forgiveness for these sins.
And you know what? I know that HE will and is changing me. I also know that my penchant for pity parties, jealously, and the desire to be followed are part of my human, sinful nature. I know that it won't just go away. But, I pray that the Lord will make me aware and help me to overcome these desires.....
I feel the need to thank you, too. Thank you to those of you who read this blog and comment. Thank you to those of you who read and don't comment. Thank you to those of you who happen on this blog by accident. The intention of this post isn't to make you feel like I could care less about you commenting. I love comments and feeling like someone cares about what I have to say -- everyone does. However, in my life those things had become way too important and that has to stop.
There is a lot here for me to ponder on today......nothing like a big helping of crow first thing in the morning. Have a great Tuesday everyone.
Mindy,
ReplyDeleteI read EVERY DAY... and enjoy your blog...thanks for sharing.
LOVE,
AMANDA MAE
Let me be the first to comment here, Mindy. I READ your blog everyday...and it's great being able to know that you and your family are doing fine so far away from home.
ReplyDeleteI admire you for being the great wife and mom that you are and still finding time to blog--wow!
So hang in there and know we're here....some of us just don't have things to say that would be interesting enough to have everyone reading :-)
Love you,
Donna
Mindy,
ReplyDeleteThat was such a vulnerable post. Thank you for sharing, for we all can use a good dose of humility. Although I don't always comment, your blog is a source of inspiration, learning, and value. Keep it up, girl!
I'm still going to Follow your blog. :p
ReplyDeleteI read your blog every day too. My lack of response is tied to my laziness as a person in general. Sometimes I do respond and then realize that I am not signed on and it would take too much effort to sign on and then re-type my response.
haha. dang. That didn't seem as bad until I said it outloud.
Oh well, I do love your blog girlie and enjoy your light-hearted posts as well as your deep ponderings.
Same here...
ReplyDeleteI think that you are an excellent writer all around and I highly enjoy your BLOG Mindy.
Hey Mindy,
ReplyDeleteI don't always comment, but enjoy your blog and seeing what you're up to.
~Wendy
I don't get to comment often on every blog I read, but I try to leave a few comments every day on some of the blogs.
ReplyDeleteWhat is important is that we all are teachable and we learn from each other.
God is good...all the time and all the time...God is good.
Have a great day.
I also wanted to let you know that when I read your blog, I pray for your children. I married a preacher's kid and I know what comes with that "position". I feel a special burden to pray for pk's, even the ones I don't know personally.
I've had some of the same thoughts, too. I do enjoy your blog. I don't get here everyday -- I don't even get to mine everyday :)
ReplyDeleteWe have to remember why we started a blog in the firt place. My reason was to be in contact with other Christian women outside of my church. (As a pastor's wife, there are times that one can drown there.)
To me, blogging is kind of like having my finger on the pluse of what's going on in other parts of the country/world. I have found it to be so encouraging, not only receiving some comments, but especially reading other blogs.
I have met a blogger in person and we meet almost every month now.
So glad you are listening to God's voice. He will never stir you wrong!
Blessings
You know I read & I love you! I've had some of the same thoughts you revealed in this post - thanks for the insight! See - God speaks thru you even when you don't realize it (& even if we don't comment on it sometimes). Love you!
ReplyDeleteThank you for being real with us. And just so you know, you're in my feeddemon list so whenever you update, it lets me know!
ReplyDeleteThe followers can definitely be a good and bad thing! :) Thanks for sharing your lesson.
ReplyDeleteMindy,
ReplyDeleteThank you for the awesome word and perspective on the issue. I subscribed to you a few weeks ago, when I ran across your blog (I'm also on CWO). I have really enjoyed your posts...keep them up. You just keep following Him....you're on the right track my sister.
Love in Him,
Jen
p.s....I had also added you a while back to my blogroll so that my other bloggy sisters would see you..I know that they'll love your posts as much as I do ;o)
ReplyDeleteJen
I had a blogging crisis early on! Now, I can say that I truly don't worry about comments, etc. I just do it because I need to do it, and the women I have invested my time with are some of the most precious and purest forms of God's light I have known in the last year of my life. I cannot imagine my world without all of you.
ReplyDeleteThank you for dealing with the issue honestly. I understand the struggle, really I do. I just came to the same point you have and let it go. Thank God. I have so much more peace about the process now.
Merry Christmas, friend. Love your heart and my daughter's new bows!
peace~elaine
PS: If I don't get here as often as I would like, please don't take offense. I simply have had to cut back on my computer time.
Ha! Look! I'm #15!
ReplyDeleteI completely understand what you're saying. I get only a few comments on each post and know that more than that read each day. I'm not really sure why. I read every post, but sometimes don't have time to comment. I used to comment on every single persons' post, but I cannot begin to tell you how much time that took out of my day.
Comments are just validation, I guess and sometimes great to feel like you are having dialogue with someone. It's what makes blogging unique, so I completely understand. My comments have dropped way down, but I try to keep in perspective why I started blogging in the first place and that was to document my girls lives and voice things the Lord is teaching me.
I, for one, love your blog (and you, too) and love to see how well you are doing adjusting to a new life away from home. You have done far greater than I would have. It's nice to see/hear/read. So, keep on ... I enjoy your posts!
Just a little pop in to tell you that surrendering this issue a while back was HUGE for me! I even took the counter of my blog, so I really have NO IDEA now how many read or don't. I have also found that my most heartfelt posts get few comments whereas silly shallow ones get more...
ReplyDeleteWho knows?
I actually don't follow anyblogs...just pop around as time permits--but always love stopping by here...
(And thank you for being a frequent commented over at my place!)
Hi! I hopped over here from Deedra's blog. You have a great blog that I read often. It's wonderful that you learned a lesson through your desire for comments, BUT don't beat yourself up! I recently added a counter to my blog (and yes, I started it out at 500 just to make me feel better about myself) and it's almost at 1000 hits!
ReplyDeleteGod bless you and keep up the great writing!