Mixed Emotions

This evening I am a mixed bag of emotions.

The first - anxiousness.
I am now 36 weeks pregnant (and two days - but whose counting?).

I have been going to the doctor twice a week lately to have Non-Stress Tests just to be sure everything is going alright with this little boy because of the SAU thing.

Today, I had a biophysical profile done, which basically means that I did the Non-Stress test plus an ultrasound.

Can I tell you how much it disturbed me to find that this little boy isn't so little.....his estimated weight was 7 lbs 1 oz.......Ya'll. Two weeks ago his weight was 5 lbs. 8 ozs. At this rate, by the time he is born, he will be at least 9 lbs.

Did I ever mention to ya'll how small I am? I am 5 feet tall.....sometimes I like to boost my ego and give myself an extra inch , telling folks I'm 5'1".....but really, that is if only I add the shoes. I am a small framed person and I do remember that delivered my last daughter who weighed a whopping 8 lbs. 7 ozs. wasn't an easy feat for me.....I am not in the least excited about the prospects of a 9 lb. baby.
However, I should have known that this was the case, when the nurse measured my (HUGE) belly today before the doctor came in and her comment was "Whoa, baby!".

The second - excitement.
There is this bit of respite though. I asked the doctor if he would induce me if the baby gets too big. He said he was planning to induce me at 39 weeks but not because of the his size but because of the umbilical cord thing. So, I've done some figuring in my head and since my doctor's day to be 'on call' at the hospital is on Thursday's and the nurse said that they do not induce on weekends (when I will be 39 weeks exactly) -- I'm hoping for 38 weeks and 5 days -- which gives me about 2 1/2 weeks more to go! HOORAY!!!!!

The doctor was pleased with the baby's growth though because he said that the weight gain shows that the baby is growing as he should and that he is getting the nutrition he needs despite the SUA. I know that is is supposed to make me feel better and it does.....sort of.

The third - fear.
I've never been induced before and I know that really it is better for everyone involved to allow nature to take it's course but I will do whatever the doctor thinks is best. But, ya'll know my fear and anxiety issues so please, be in prayer for me in the next few weeks.


The fourth - sadness/joy
My 3 girls are in Georgia visiting grandparents this week. I'm sad because I miss them so much. But I am also joyful that they are enjoying their time so much and for the time I have to spend with hubby this week. It's just so darn quiet around here.....

The fifth - frustration!!
I have two other posts that I started this evening to share with you all from the past week ,but for some reason Blogger won't cooperate and allow me to post the pictures I want to share with you all. UGGHHHH!!!
Another frustration is that I just allowed 2 really good deals get by me on eBay while I've been venting to you all about my other frustration. Ironic - isn't it?!!?

So, now if you'll excuse me, I'm headed to drown out all these mixed emotions by the monotony of finishing the laundry (emotion - boredom) and then eventually eating some raspberry sherbet (emotion - pure bliss) that is waiting in my freezer for me. Hopefully, I can share the other posts with you all tomorrow!