Mind Matters - Part 1

One of the things I love most is to be in bible study with other women. Sometimes I lead these studies and sometimes I am just part of them. No matter how I'm involved I love doing bible studies and learning about God and growing in Him. Since it is summer and since we moved a little while back, I'm not involved in either leading or participating in a group study.
When I am in a season like this one - when I don't have a study to do with other women, I try to continue my learning by doing studies alone during my quiet time each day. Right now I am working through Beth Moore's A Woman's Heart- God's Dwelling Place. This is a study I've had for a long time. In fact, years ago, I lead a group of women through it. Right up to week 7 when they decided it was too hard and all quit on me.
I've always wanted to finish it, so that is what I am working through right now. And although I've been spoiled with always having Beth's video's to watch and her commentary to add to the lessons, I am learning so much. I'm only in week three right now so I'm in the process of 'preparing my heart' to study the building of the OT Tabernacle.

Yesterday my lesson was about the things that God asked the Israelites to bring to Him as freewill offerings that would be the foundation of the temple. These things, of course, were gold, silver, bronze and precious stones. In the lesson I learned that these precious metals can all be 'tested by fire' and come through that fire refined. We as NT Christians are to build our foundations on Christ. When we do that, then we too can be 'tested by fire' and refined. Beth spoke of a time when all of our works will be tested by our God, who is a consuming fire. That got me wondering what of my works in this world would stand through the test of the all consuming fire of our Lord.

Beth asked the question -- What do I spend my time and effort on?
I realized that there are things in my life that would burn up. Things that wouldn't be refined or build my character. Things like complaining, selfishness, wanting my children to obey for the sake of obedience instead of to grow closer to God.

And the biggest thing I expend energy on that will burn up -- FEAR. A couple of nights ago, I had a melt down. Fear took over and I got so scared about going in to labor and delivering this baby. The devil still has a foothold in the area of my life apparently, because I can still become so filled with a fear of dying that it almost paralyzes me. [sidenote here - I also always feel guilty for not wanting to die....what could be better than getting to go to heaven and be with God? I feel guilty for wanting to live a long life here and see my children grow up. I feel really selfish!]
I know that God doesn't want me to fear like this. I know that HE doesn't give anyone a spirit of fear. AND I know that there is only one way to change the way that I expend my energy. And that is only by renewing my mind...
In my next post, I will talk about how to renew my mind and how you can help. Until then, please pray for me.
I am full of some crazy emotions right now.
Fear is a big one.
I also went to the doctor yesterday and at 37 weeks + 2 days I thought for sure I'd be dilated -- I was dilated to 3 with my last daughter by this time. I was very disappointed to hear that I "might be dilated a finger tip" and that "my cervix is still really long".
As much as I as scared to death of going into labor this time, I'm also really disappointed and frustrated that it's not time yet. I am so ready for this little boy to be here and for the whole process of labor and delivery to be over and done with.

Thanks, ladies for reading my rambling today and I hope you all have a great Tuesday. I'm excited that I really do KNOW how to renew my mind, but I'm gonna need your help. See ya next time!