I AM - Lesson 13

Ya'll. Lisa has really done it this time! Lesson 13 of the I AM (so you don't have to be) study is the best one yet (in my humble opinion). It has really spoken to me today, so run, RUN, RUN on over to The Preacher's Wife and join in!

Here are the burning questions and my answers for this week!

1. Do you struggle with a sense of self-worth? How do you perceive this has affected the way you are able to 'keep your head upright'? If not, do you know someone who suffers in this area? I would be lying if I said that I didn't struggle with a sense of self-worth. To be honest, I think it is the biggest struggle of all for me! It seems ALL of my other , hm-hum, "issues" can all be traced back to a lack of self- worth. The biggest being the trust issues I have. I do think, though, that I have made some improvement in the area with time. So, I have days when keeping my head upright is not a problem and then there are days when all I can do is hang my head and cry.

2. What are you most afraid of? Does this fear affect the way you move through life? (Ex. Are you overprotective with children? Afraid to take risks?) Oh goodness. I've had a trial as of late with the fear of death. That it will hurt. That I will leave my kids and husband alone without me. And really - it isn't that I don't think they will be OK without me - it's just I don't want to miss it all! This has been a HUGE struggle and has for the past year really affected my life. I've been to more dr's than I care to admit. BUT - I am beginning to work through it all and by leaning on GOD - I will be victorious!

3. What is one of the most marvelous ways God has provided a need? I can't wait to hear your stories on this one! One of the most marvelous ways God has provided for me is by allowing me this outlet of blogging. New friends, that I may never meet, some that I might - but having real friends who love you no matter what your issues are was a need and HE has provided that...........maybe that isn't what you are looking for. In a more "NEED" way - this happened for my family this year -- Our 4 year old gets to go to pre-k for free because this year we qualified for the program where as last year we did not. And that was God's provision because our insurance is going up too and we really aren't expecting a large raise in salary this coming year.

4. Steve Brown, a Moody Broadcasting Bible Teacher, is one of the first people I ever heard teach the concept that God was not mad at me. I grew up in a denomination that led me to believe He was in a continuous state of disappointment over my failures. How about you? Though in your heart you know God says He loves you, does Satan in your mind ever try to convince you otherwise? OH yes, the devil tries his hardest to make me believe that Jesus is keeping a tally of my "score" and if the good doesn't outweigh the bad then too bad for me. And he whispers things about how bad I am and that I can't possibly be going to heaven.........I've learned not to let him win though.

5. How close are you to your own Promised Land? Not at all, 1/2 way, almost there? By this I mean the place of abundant living and effectiveness here on earth, not the ultimate fulfillment in Glory! Though I hope you are going to heaven, I don't want it to be today! :) I tend to be a pessimist but as I look at this realistically, I'd say I'm at least 1/2 way. I'm learning more everyday and do feel that God is calling me to a certain purpose. I'd love it if you'd pray with me that I receive a feeling of certainty toward this calling and that if it is so, then God will begin to open the doors! There is NOTHING I want more that authenticity in HIM - to be and do what He has planned for me.

That's it! Hope you all have a fabulous day!