Saturday, August 27, 2011
Friday, August 26, 2011
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Lately, I've been reminded of how hard it is to really forgive.
I mean truly forgive..... It's like just when I *think* I've let go of something and laid it at his throne, something happens -- a reminder, another little jab of some kind, another hurt -- and bam, I'm right there in the place again. Realizing that either I never really laid it down to begin with or I laid it down and picked it up again so fast that my head should be spinning.
And then, there are the times when I start feeding the unforgiveness....which, truth be told, turns into a longing for revenge and retaliation.
I've been struggling with truly forgiving a lot lately. All these little jabs and reminders seem to come fast and furious. A friend of mine reminded me to pray ---so I have been attempting to remember to stop and pray instead of picking that hurt back up and letting it fester inside me.
Today, God had me read about Joseph and his brothers. I was enjoying reading a favorite old story and then I came to this....
...and I was struck by how Joseph was able to forgive and how unable to forgive I am. Joseph was able to look past what his brothers had done to him to what GOD was doing in and through him. That is the kind of person I want to be. I know that forgiveness is a process and that it is gradual, but if I continue picking up the hurt, I will never get there....
Change my heart, oh God. I want to be like you.....Help me to lay down this hurt at Your throne and help me stop picking it up again. Instead, Lord, when I feel like picking up the hurt and letting it grow in me, help me to pray. Help me to pray for those who hurt me. Help me to love. Give me YOUR Holy love for those who hurt me. Help me to remember Joseph and his brothers and to become like him. Help me to see past the hurt to what YOU are doing in my life. Amen
in HIM -
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Tonight, there are a few thunderstorms rolling though our area. My kids are all very afraid of thunder/lightening, but Brady is especially afraid of it. I know it was no accident that when I was putting them to bed tonight and doing their devotions with them, that they were all about Jesus being with them.
I put Brady to bed first. His devotion was about how Jesus is with you when you are afraid.
It was thundering outside and I thought "THIS is perfect! We will talk about Jesus being with him and that he shouldn't be afraid of the thunder and he will go right on to sleep"
Well, that's not what happened. Not at all.
I finished the devotion and we said a prayer that Jesus would be with him always and that he wouldn't be afraid. At this point, Brady was laying on my leg and I could see the tears welling up in his eyes and his little lip poking out. I asked,
"What is wrong, Buddy?"
"I cared of tund-oy"
He answered correctly, "Je ssuuuss" but he was still upset. So, I tucked him in with still quivering lips and tears still in his eyes and told him I would be back in a few minutes after I got the girls in bed.
I went upstairs and did the girls devotions with them. Which, btw, were also about God being with them during scary things (Allie's) and even to the end of the age (Maggie and Lillie's). I find that to be NO accident! They were not as scared as Brady so they were ok with going to bed....mostly because the thunder wasn't that bad, tonight.
But Brady,was NOT ok. He was crying and calling me over and over again.
I finally made it back down to him and spent the next 20 minutes until the thunder was fully gone laying with him and rubbing his back so he would go to sleep.
Then I got to thinking how like Brady I am alot of the time. We had just talked about how Jesus was watching over him and that Jesus was taking care of him. He knew the right answers. He understood....yet he was still (visibly) scared.
Fear is something I struggle with on a regular basis. And *I* KNOW the right answers. I know that He is always with me even to the end of the age. I know He is taking care of me and that He is in control of all things. I know how many times God tells us not to be afraid and yet, I'm still afraid.
Tonight, I'm praying that the Lord will truly let my children have peace and not be afraid of the thunder. And I'm praying that I can concur my struggle with fear.
One of the things that seemed to help Brady feel better was having me be with him for a while.....I know that is what I need to do, too.
I'm going to spend some time with my Lord. The Lord who casts out fear!
Sunday, August 14, 2011
This morning, my awesome preacher hubby spoke on the what true faith is. Hebrews 11 is known as "The Hall of Faith".