Thursday, February 3, 2011

Love As A Verb - Day 3 -- What Would You Do?

This day start with a fight when I opened my eyes this morning. Two of my girls were screaming at each other......about.....well, I don't really remember what the trouble was. But, we had some discussion about that. Then the third girl was just having big time problems listening this morning, which led to a spanking.

Needless to say, things didn't get off on a great start this morning.

While they were gone to school, I was here the temperamental two-year old and *I* wasn't feeling that great and was quite temperamental myself.

As soon as the girls walked in the door from school there was another fight. And, then, it was time to clean their rooms. That's always a struggle, at least for Lillie. The deal was that they had to clean their rooms in order to attend the Father/Daughter Dance that is planned for tomorrow night.

The one bright spot in our day was supper time -- I was going to cook Sweet Potato and Black Bean Chili - but the cilantro at the grocery store looked really bad Monday and I forgot to pick some up.. so I decided to just go pick something up for supper. That was truly an act of love for my kids because I went and got Wendy's. They love chicken nuggets. They were so kind to one another at supper. Lillie giving her brother her last chicken nugget and then Lillie and Allie gave Maggie the rest of their fries. I was bragging on them and telling them how wonderfully kind and loving that they were being to one another. I truly was very proud of them.

After supper, was bathtime. While two kids were in the tub, and the other two were already out, I go upstairs to check Lillie's progress in her bedroom. The clothes that had been on the floor, were indeed gone as she had said.....although, I found them in the dirty clothes basket -- even the clean ones -- so I took them out and sent her back to put them away ----the right way. While I was checking the bedroom, I went into the closet to find a whole bag of chocolate morsels spilled in the floor. My heart fell. Because I knew that they girls had climbed up on the counter to get these and that they had hid them away upstairs. It came out that while only two of them had been involved in the getting, all three of them were involved in the hiding them away/eating/spilling them all over the floor.

I talk about honestly a LOT to my girls. I was very upset.

After having them clean up, I called them down for our devotion on loving and a talk about what that means. With all that today has been, we talked about part of loving me and loving God is obeying and honesty, and not taking things you know you aren't supposed to have. Part of loving one another is kindness.

During this devotion time/ talk, one of my girls said that she thinks I hate her. My heart is breaking over that tonight.

Hubs and I both think that there needs to be consequences for the girls taking the chocolate morsels and hiding them/eating them when they hadn't asked.

However, one of the girls also said during our talk that she sure hopes Daddy would be graceful and let them still go to the dance.

I am so torn. I think that they need consequences but then, maybe, THIS would be a great time for a lesson on grace and love......

I don't know. My heart is breaking from being told that my child thinks I hate her --- as well as a general feeling of being a bad parent......What would YOU do?

in HIM-


Deidre said...

Mindy, first of all, you are a great Mom and don't you dare go to bed thinking anything different (I say this like I don't ever do it - but you know I do). Satan wants us to wear that guilt so we'll stop being the godly Moms we are called to be. Which means, hard discipline is inevitable. I would be willing to bet she doesn't really think you hate her but rather knows just what to say to push your buttons? I don't know, I wasn't there, but I do know a girl knows how to deliver a line and push our buttons. I did the same with my Mom ;)

Whatever discipline you both come up with, I know you will let the Spirit lead you. Take your time to discern if it fits the offense.

You are a terrific Mom!

Ginger said...

I agree - you are a terrific mom & I don't think any one of those girls thinks you hate her. I know I'm not a mom so maybe my opinion doesn't count but I think not going to the dance is a little harsh for taking some candy from the cabinet in their own home. I don't seem to remember food (including candy) ever being taboo in our house growing up. We could pretty much have what we wanted, therefore we never had to sneak things or hide things. Having said that, your kids don't live in my house so my rules may be different someday. Maybe the punishment should be about sweets - i.e. no sweets for "x" amount of time? I think that sort of punishment would better "fit the crime". Again - just my opinion. I love you!