Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Heart Wrenching (Yet Captivating) TV

Do any of watch Jon & Kate + 8?

Even if you don't watch the show, I'm sure you've been unable to avoid hearing about their struggles over the past few months. Lots of allegations claiming that Jon cheated on Kate and that Kate cheated on Jon. While none of us know what the whole truth is,( and incidentally, I'm not sure either of them know what the whole truth is) what can be seen in watching last night's season premiere is that there is a LOT of pain in this family right now.

I will be the first to admit that I have had a love/hate thing for this family from the get go. I love watching their show and seeing the family dynamics with eight children. Seeing how they deal with discipline issues and logistics alone are enough to keep me watching. Yet, there is also a sense of entitlement that I see with Kate that drives me a bit crazy! Just let me say here that I do not think that having eight kids should entitle you to anything more than then love of eight children. My husband often bemoans my love of watching their show and says things like, "Why do we need to watch a show where children are crying and fighting? We have enough of that at our house." My response is always that it makes me feel like my family is "normal".

Well - that "my family is normal" line scares me now. I don't want my family to be normal if it leads to the kind of hurt I saw in the faces of this family last night. It was so sad! You could see the tensions and hear the heartbreak and pain in Jon and Kate's voices and in the words they said. I found myself wanting to give them both a hug and urge them to fight, fight, FIGHT for their marriage. I've told ya'll before that God has given me a passion for families and marriage. He has given me a longing to share with others how much HE cares about marriages and families as well as a longing to bring my parenting and marriage up to HIS standards.

The show last night was heart wrenching and yet I'm captivated by it too......It is quite the study in sociology in one aspect. But more important for me is just what I've been talking about.

I would love to have the opportunity to speak with both Jon and Kate. I am by no means an authority on marriage nor am I perfect in my own (far from it, right hubs?) but there are many things I would want to say to Jon and Kate.

To Jon:

I agree with you that you have made some bad choices. Having a 23 year old girl over to sunbathe in your yard while your wife is away was a very bad idea. It seems you've checked out of your marriage though. On the show last night, you said that you are there for your kids.....that isn't the right reason. Look back and remember the vows you took. You and Kate can save your marriage. Bring God back into it.....Go get counseling from a christian counselor.

And as far as being there for your kids goes, the best thing for your kids is to see parents who love each other.

I understand your desire to be out of the "spotlight". And while I agree with the people who say that you "chose" this for yourselves, I do imagine you never thought it would get to this. Having people follow you around all the time. I'm so sorry. Stay in there and fight. Get the help you need.....there are eight little people who need you to love their mommy.

To Kate:

I could really see your pain in last night's episode. I could see that you have anger about what is happening with Jon which leads me to believe that you do think he had an affair. I could see your sadness about the prospect of losing your family. And while I do think you believe that you are doing all of this for your kids, I'm thinking you have become a bit misguided. I do know that this show provides for your family but there are other ways of providing for your family. On the Today show this morning the lady interviewed said that you could not go back to being a nurse, but I completely disagree. I don't have eight children to provide for but I do have four and my husband is a minister and I stay home with the kids.....It is do- able. Especially if you go back to being and RN and Jon goes back to being an engineer. You will most definitely have to give up the lifestyle to which you've become accustomed.....but if it is important -- then you can do it. You just have to decide what is most important. Is it that you have a family - with dad and mom together? Or is it that you have the lifestyle you have now? I urge you really think about what is best for your kids. You keep saying that everything you do is for them.....but is what you are doing best for them? I appeal to your Christian upbringing and remind you that what is best for your kids is to have a mommy and a daddy who love each other. I urge you to get counseling from a Christian Counseling.... Go see your pastor. Work your marriage out -- even if it means losing the fame and notoriety....

SO - here is my question for all of you in blogland......

What would you say to Jon and Kate if you had the chance? Maybe you don't care, but I think that America is watching a marriage dissolve right before it's eyes and some of us Christians need to encourage these people to fight for their marriage!


"Rachel" said...

I don't watch Jon & Kate but I have seen all the tabloids. I like your responses to them, especially Kate's.

Stephanie said...

I watched last night, and it was almost painful! I felt so bad for both of them, but again wanted to scream at both of them. The whole thing was AKWARD!

Josh has the same feelings about me watching the show. He can't stand all the screaming.

I wouldn't say that I would model my parenting after theirs... but I think that they really do love their kids.

It is sad to see how much things have changed in their relationship over the past few seasons.

I feel for Kate, but honestly I can somewhat understand some of Jon's emotions.

Hopefully they can work things out, because you are right, the best thing they can do for their kids is to love and respect eachother.

Faye said...

Mindy, I do not watch them but i have read about it.I agree with you. Hope you have a great day!

Eyeglasses & Endzones said...

I watched all the hoopla last night too and it was PAINFUL to watch!

I think they need to turn the cameras off. The kids are just stuck in the middle of this horrid thing.

Work on your marriage and your family!!! And bring God back into your marriage. Period.

Wendy said...

I watched the show. It was depressing. Isn't it amazing how fame and fortune can bring about the demise of relationships!? So sad.

Tad said...

I find it ironic that John and Kate appear to be falling apart just like on EdTV and Truman Show. There are a number of problems that are causing issues, but I think the two most prominent are:

1. How can you be "real" when the camera is always rolling. I got money that says when the tapes aren't rolling, they don't act the way they do on camera.

2. Like other people that get rich quick, it is very difficult to manage big money/fame and a healthy family relationship.

Sherry said...

I do watch the show and this really makes me sad. I would definitely encourage them to fight.

I can only imagine how stressed and exhausted they must be. No one knows what they have and are experiencing. But the fact is, they cannot go back. What's done is done, but there are new choices that can be made to benefit their marriage and the children.

Have you considered emailing them? You can do that through their wedsite.

Cheryl said...

I am heart broken over this situation and have even considered trying to email them. I know they probably get thousands and would probably never read it. But after I went through my divorce, I vowed that I would never stand by and be silent while someone's marriage is falling apart.

I would say exactly what you said!

I had a thought today, maybe if we could set a specific time to pray for them. If we spread the word through blogland, maybe they we could be an encouragement for them. Is that cheesy?

I just feel that God has given them this platform to show the world how a Christian marriage should/could be.

Natalie said...

I am just now catching up on some long overdue blog reading so sorry I haven't been over to visit lately. I'm so glad you posted about this. I used to watch the show ALL the time but we have since cut our "full" satelite and I don't get the channel anymore. I heard about all the issues in the news but didn't really know what was going on. Still don't really but going based on what you wrote, that is some very strong, solid advice you would give them.

Natalie said...

One more thing...I can't imagine being in the spotlight like they are. Or any celeb for that matter. I'm so glad I'm not.

Natalie said...

Sorry...last one. I did see a picture of their new house. HOLY MOLY! It's ginormous!

Kelly said...

I really think they need to pull the plug on the show. Work on the family. This isn't fun watching a family's life implode before our eyes! I think Jon wants out of the show and Kate does not! Who is speaking for the kids? They never asked to have cameras follow them 24-7. To see their family troubles aired on national tv and in the media is heart wrenching to me.

Wife of Rob said... almost took the words out of my mouth. I couldn't have said it any better than you did. And I had just told my husband that they didn't seem to be "fighting" for their marriage. I also told my husband that they need to show the world that, while Chrisitian families are not perfect, they still have the Lord on their side. I would love to see them turn this around and show the world that divorce is not the "old reliable" choice and that God CAN be at the center of their marriage. This could be a prime opportunity for them to put God back at the head of their marriage and prove to the world that (like the song says) Jesus NEVER fails.