Recently, when I was
Anyway - this time, I actually took note of what God was saying to me. He told me I had a part in this and no matter if K ever changed the way he does things that drive me nuts, that I can change the way I react, respond, relate to him......
So, we, and by we- I mean me and God, talked about (read He told me) what I should do different.
Did I mention that God and I talk alot when I'm in the bathtub? Long soaks in the tub are something I love and God and I seem to meet there often. That is where this conversation happened.
Well, the next night while I soaked, God met me and began talking with me again about this thing called marriage. He reminded me again about what I need to do differently, and this time -- he reminded me of the purpose of marriage in this life.
Marriage, in this life, is to be an experience that teaches us about how to truly relate to God. God talked to me that day about this. He told me that if I never learn to love K the way I should, then I will never learn to love him the way I should. And how am I to love Christ? Selflessly. More than anything in the whole world. Respectfully. And all those things? That is how I am supposed to love my hubby, too. NO matter that he is human and not as easy to love as Jesus. It is my responsibility to love him as I love Christ. To respect him. To submit to him....
I'm not gonna lie ya'll, that conversation? It was a lot to swallow. Matter of fact, I ended up in tears, crying out in prayer for forgiveness for how I've spent the last 8 years looking at my marriage.
That brings me to this.
Back at Christmas I bought books for both K and I. I gave him his copy for Christmas (I'm forever trying to help him out with is part in "fixing" our marriage, ya know). I read one day of the book, and didn't get very far with it and I know that K hasn't even opened his copy..... thus, part of my conversation with God. God reminded me of the book, and told me to do it myself ---no matter if K ever does it or not.
My selfish human self doesn't really like that idea, I have to admit. However, God desires obedience from me *with a happy heart* (as I often tell my children), and therefore, I will do it.
This is where ya'll come in. Some of you might have heard of this book, The Love Dare. It was featured in the movie, Fireproof. I haven't seen the movie yet. I have plans to see it as soon as I have a chance. Everyone has just raved about it! Anyway, God is calling me to "DO" this book. TO spend the time and the effort to really do my part in making my husband feel loved. Here's the rub. I NEED some accountability. I tend start well and end terribly.
What do ya say? Anyone out there want to join me on this venture? Maybe we can keep each other accountable and take time to see (discuss) the fruits of our efforts.
I plan to start day one over again on Saturday. Yes, Valentine's Day. I figure there is no better Valentine's gift than to become the wife my husband deserves. So, if you want to join me on this quest-- it is a 40 day journey--leave me a comment and we can figure it all out.
Ya'll have a good Tuesday.
ps - my laptop should be back tomorrow. TO say that I can't wait is a HUGE understatement!