Monday, May 21, 2007

HIS Unfailing Love

Girls, God has been doing a mighty work in me and I need to share it with somebody before I just bust!

You all know about my trust issues, right? If not, you'll have to go here, and here to read all about it -- if you want "the rest of the story". Well - I've been inching along trying to really learn what it is to FULLY trust HIM and to believe him.

It's been a difficult thing for me to figure. Allow me to let you see for a moment how my brain tends to work -- I know in my head that God loves me no matter what.......he made me and he loves me. But, then the devil sets in annoying me to death in a way that has worked on me -- for years and years and years. He tells me things like "God can't love you as much as this person because look at the things you've done." or " You don't have gifts like this person so obviously God doesn't love you the same" and yada yada yada -- so on and so forth -- you get the picture. I start to feel that there is no way God should love me -- I'm a sinner!!! And that is true -- yes -- but until now -- I've had a very difficult time saying -- Yes but God loves me despite my ugliness. Now I can tell everybody else this and tell them to believe it but in my heart of hearts - it's been difficult for me to believe.

Well - he's still working on me.........I've mentioned before that I KNOW God is teaching me to trust him fully and I am sure that I am in a period of preparation for something. And it's been a long time coming and I'm sure I have far to go...........I hope it comes quickly though so I can get on to doing HIS good work.

This past weekend has been a great learning weekend for me. On Thursday night, I went to meet with my VW's group about an hour from here. My VW's group is a bible study group of girls I get together with once a month. It is more than a bible study though -- these women are God's love for me being lived out!!! We meet once a month at 7pm.....and because we all have so much to say and share -- we usually end up finishing at about 9:30pm. Well -- this past week we didn't get finished until about 10:30 pm......I felt terrible keeping them out so late. BUT let me tell you how they showed God's love to me.
My tire was low -- very low like down to 10 lbs of air....and they told me about it when we arrived at our meeting. Even tough it was 10:30 pm and they had to drive 30 minutes back home -- my sweet friends followed me to a gas station and W put air in my tire for me -- as I didn't know how. (Sorry Daddy --- I know you taught me better than this but I never really had to do it myself). You girls showed me the love of our Lord on Thursday as you always do and I am ever so grateful for friends like you. As my new blogging friend, Deborah, says you are the best Dolla friends a girl can have!

Then came the weekend which was full of dance recital fun.........and family. Both hubby and I come from divorced parents. As hard as that can be -- God works HIS good into everything as my 3 daughters are blessed to have 4 sets of grandparents to love them (and spoil them)! 3 out of 4 sets came for the dance recital.....My dad has been sick so they didn't get to come....We missed Pa Pa and Na Na very much!!!!

Just watching all the grandparent interaction with my three girls again shows me the love of my Lord. Through HIS boundless love, I have 3 sweet girls who are gifts from above. And seeing 2 out of 3 of them in their dance costumes just reminded me what a sweet gift of love they are and I was left tearing up and thanking him for such wonderfulness. Check out the cute little bunny and
daisy costumes. =)
And watching their little sister cheer them on as they danced was just as sweet! Seeing how much she loves her sisters is definitely a reminder of HIS love for us all.
Then comes Sunday. As usual I get up on Sunday and as I get ready for church I try to pray and ask the Lord to help me to focus only on Him this day. TO really worship HIM instead of worrying about all the irritating things that the devil tries to provide in my head to think about. Like who is mad about what this day......
Well - hubby preached on procrastination yesterday and "spending another night with the frogs". He spoke of when Moses went to Pharaoh to tell him that if he'd let the Israelites go, then God would get rid of the plague of the frogs. You know what Pharaoh said --- Tomorrow I will. SO - he had to spend 1 more night with the frogs. Hubby then asked everyone to think about what it is in our lives that we are holding on to that is making us spend one more night with the frogs.....I realized that the thing I am holding onto is not trusting.....Trusting God and believing HIM is a choice. And to choose NOT to trust and believe him -- that he loves me unconditionally and that I can trust all that he says -- is sin.... SO - I left church feeling that I HAD to make right choices to trust and believe all that HE is.
Then in the afternoon, I started working on my the new bible study I'm leading at church - The Patriarchs by Beth Moore. I try to stay somewhat ahead of my group so I can know how to prepare so I was finishing up week 1 yesterday and just guess what the lesson was about?!!?
**NOTE - if you are in my Patriarch's group and you are reading this know you have MUCH to look forward to in your day 5 work -- how's that for incentive to do!your! homework!!! =)***
It was on -- God Most High. He is El Elyon (that is God Most High) and He is above all other God's. He is sovereign -- he does what HE wishes -- AND he has UNFAILING love for his children.....which includes me!! This was my revelation ----- Isn't it wonderful that the ONE who loves me unfailingly is also the ONE who is making all the plans?!!? Awesome......
To trust that he loves me and is El Elyon for me!!!!! That is the choice I will make!!!!
Then Beth Moore said (God uses her to teach me so much -- oh that I can one day be as open to HIS words to me as she is when He speaks to her!) this -- "God's Sovereignty can terrify us only to the extent that we are uncertain of His love. You and I are never childish or unwise to remind ourselves daily how much God loves us. Only to the extent that we abide in His love can we be comforted my His sovereignty." --Girls -- this hit me like a ton of bricks.
OH MY, did I ever I get what I asked for!!!! I spent time in prayer in church yesterday morning -- knowing that the reason I have lived with my frogs for so long is that I haven't chosen to trust. I've talked a big game and said over and over I wanted to choose to trust but I haven't been able to. I asked God to speak to me and tell me what the reason was I had so much trouble doing this and did he ever?!!?
He sent Beth Moore (in lesson 5 of week 1 of The Patriarchs study) to drop this load of bricks right on my head and knock me off that high horse of legalism I can get on right into the humble position I should be in! My bigger problem is that I have had a hard time remembering HIS unfailing Love for me. WOW! So -- I will remind myself from now on that my great God loves me unfailingly! Won't you join me? I think that Beth Moore is right we should remind ourselves and choose to believe and trust!!!!
Sorry for this incredibly LONG post but when God is doing a mighty work --- it just has to be shared! Thank you for reading! And don't forget - HE loves YOU and me too --- more than we will ever be able to imagine until we get to heaven!!!!
**Don't be a lurker-- let me hear from you =)***


pinkmommy said...

God has really been speaking to me in my second go around in The Patriarchs as well. Isn't it awesome how God can use a book and video created a couple of years ago to continue to minister to thousands of people everywhere??? He is amazing!

MiPa said...

You better hold onto your hat, because the Patriarchs just gets better and better! I'm on week 7 and it is blowing me away. Blessings my dear!

RealEstateGirl said...

Girlfriend, this is a power-packed, Spirit-filled post! I am so glad the Lord is doing this work in your life! You will have great things to share and lives will be changed!

Love ya!